Charley La'akea Cowley

Charley came to us on Sunday, September 11, 2011 at 5:49pm.  She was 7lb 7 oz and 21 inches long. 


I think she woke up that morning and just decided that she was going to join us that day . . . having given us no warnings of her coming before that.  But she also seemed to know that Sunday was the perfect day to come.  Tutu drove from Washington and arrived Saturday night, Papa was away on a weekend getaway and returned home Sunday morning and Nana had to fly back to work in Washington Monday morning.  Charley timed it perfectly so that all those special people were able to be here on the day she arrived.

The night before Charley arrived . . .

I woke up Sunday morning extra early and jumped in the shower. Nothing felt out of the ordinary until I got out of the shower and begin feeling pretty intense "flu-like" symptoms... plus, I lost my mucus plug.  All of a sudden, I realized that today was probably the day Charley would be coming.


Originally, Cody and I had planned on going to our friends house for the Bears first game.  By the time Cody got up, I was already in my Bears gear all ready for the game (which started at 11am).  I let him know what had happened... I still felt a little sick so I was debating whether or not I was gonna go.  And then, right around 10am I started to get contractions.  I wasn't sure if the first ones were actually contractions or just me feeling sick still... but pretty soon they were consistently about 5 minutes apart and 30-60+ seconds long.  It's such a weird feeling to all of a sudden, after 9 months of waiting, realize that you are going to meet your little girl soon... 

and the contractions begin . . . 

The morning was actually pretty chill... with the Bears playing in the background, I shuffled around the house getting ready for the day and our stay away in the hospital.  I was able to talk and walk through a lot of the contractions but also brought out the birth ball to relax on during the intense ones.  Cody kept track of the contractions (and also the score of the game!) and my mom ran off with the dogs to the grocery store to grab a "few items". . . 2 hours later, a "few" turned out to be the entire trunk of her car :) By this point, we had called the midwife and gotten the OK to come into the hospital . . . and I pushed my mom to hurry home so I could give the dogs a kiss goodbye :)


When we arrived at the hospital, I was 5 cm dilated and 90% effaced... so we got the OK to stay! I think by this time it was around 12:30pm or so. About 1/2 hour after we arrived, I was happily sitting on my birth ball leaning against the bed.... when out of nowhere I was completely soaked, along with my ball and the floor beneath me. My water had broke and there was a lot of it and it was not a pretty sight :) And since I was hooked up to monitors I couldn't do anything but continue to sit in it!  But... it was still a pretty cool part of the process to experience.


It took awhile to check me in and when that process was done, I was about 7 cm dilated.  My midwife had set up the jacuzzi tub for me and I happily jumped in.  Oh My God! This was amazing!  I had no idea what to expect from the tub, but the pain relief was immediate.  By this point the contractions were intensifying but I feel like I was able to get through them without much work.  Cody stayed by my side and held my hand through them. Each time the contraction was more painful he always knew... I guess the fact that I was squeezing his hand off was a good indicator :)  

Tutu (and Oma and Nana and Papa and Jenelle . . . ) listening outside the door :)

Around 8 cm I got out of the tub and began to move around again.  As soon as I was out of the tub and had my first contraction I knew I was in transition.  Definitely more intense! At this time, they had to hook me up to the monitors again and check in on Charley.  Ugg!  I did NOT like being confined :) But they did let me go to my go-to comfort position of being on my hands and knees . . . thank goodness!  At this point, I was focused completely inside of myself... I knew what was immediately in front of me (Cody, my midwife Diane and the nurse Amber) but even the 3 of them faded each time a contraction came on.  Only Cody's touch broke through as I focused on my simple breathing technique.  I remember breaking down a few times and losing my breathing but I knew I was close and my support team held me strong. 

Papa is a little nervous . . . 

Even though I felt like I was in transition forever, it seemed so sudden when my midwife announced I could start pushing during the next contraction.  In my head, I remember thinking "Shit! What do I do?!" as I realized I had no idea what to expect during the pushing part, no idea how to brace through the pain, no idea how to even push!  I remember reading that there was sometimes a "break" between transition and pushing... this did not happen to me.  I also remember that I actually didn't read too much about pushing... it seemed like it was always glossed over and so I never thought much about it.  All my preparations had gone to the early phases of labor... and now, as it was suddenly upon me, I realized I had NO idea what to do.  My midwife gave me some simple instructions ... when the contractions start, push! 


I think I pushed for just over an hour.  Charley was ready to come into this world and if she could have, I think she would have made it sooner.  But the poor thing got stuck in my birth canal.  With each push, the top of her head would crown and with each rest, it would go back in.  I remember how excited everyone was the first time they saw her head come out and they kept giving me encouragements... but all I really thought was... am I really doing anything? It just feels like I'm pooping! :)  


So Charley was getting stuck... my perineum was too tight and Diane, my midwife, was doing everything she could to get her through.  But I ended up needing an episiotomy.  At this same time, Diane noticed that the amniotic fluid had a greenish hue... a sign that meconium was in the fluid, which could be dangerous if Charley ingested any of it.  I think at this time Diane notified other specialists about this because once Charley came, there was a team of about 6 or 7 by my bedside who were ready to treat her.  Like I said before, I was so inside myself, that I didn't even notice all the influx of people into the room until the birth was over!

our awesome midwife Diane

Until I figured out how to do it correctly, I think the pushing was harder for me than transition.  With transition, I was able to prepare myself before each contraction came and focus on my breathing during the toughest parts of it.  When I started pushing, I pushed as soon as the contraction started. I was able to do 2-3 pushes per contraction before losing energy but most of the time, the contraction was still going and since my energy was gone, I couldn't focus and get to my point of sanity with the contraction.  I felt it entirely.  Finally, after Diane gave me some hints, I was able to push without much pain.  The trick was waiting until after the contraction started to begin pushing... to push through the height of it.  Once I did that, it really didn't hurt when I pushed.


And then Charley arrived.  Cody was with me the entire time, giving me encouragement and support and he was able to witness the entire experience.  Charley had a lot going on in those first moments of life... Diane noticed she had a knot in her umbilical cord... it makes sense with all that dancing she did in my belly! And because of the meconium, the team of doctors and nurses were quick and whisked Charley away immediately to a workspace in the birthing room.  The poor thing had ingested fluid and meconium in her stomach and lungs causing her oxygen to be low and after about 15 minutes of working on her in the room, they still had to take her down to NICU.  The staff was amazing - very calm and professional and deep down I wasn't worried about her safety, but what was hard was not being able to hold and touch her.  I couldn't even see her with all of them surrounding her and as they were leaving, I only got a tiny tease of her... they held her up to me and let me touch her face.  

Luckily, Cody got to go to NICU with her and be with her as she recovered.  Her Tutu, Papa, Nana, Oma and Auntie Jenelle also got to meet her at this time.  I don't know many details about her time down there but I do know she is one tough little girl! She came back strong as ever and didn't let any of the stress of her first moments of life slow her down. I had to wait a long two hours (very long!) before I got to meet her beautiful self.  My body was shaking with exhaustion, the nurses and Dr's were still hustling around me and there was still no reason in front of me why I went through the pain . . . 


But then, they finally brought her to me.  After 8 hours of labor and another 2 of waiting, I got to   meet my beautiful little girl.  All emotions of the day (and the last 9 months) came forward at the moment I held her for the first time.  She was perfect.  She was a part of Cody and I, and I loved her instantly.  

meeting Charley for the first time

Daddy gets to hold me for the first time!

The birthing process is amazing. I'm still in awe at what the body is able to do... and how powerful the mind and spirit can be.  I feel humbled for an experience that was perfectly perfect and I am thankful for the unconditional love and support that continues to flow to Cody and I!

We Love You Charley La'akea!

All the Grandmas

Proud Papa

Happy Auntie Jenelle